Wednesday, May 7, 2008

One Thing I'd Do Differently

One thing in life I try not to do is regret things I have or haven't done in the past. I try to just live and learn and not assume doing one thing or another would have drastically changed my present life. But a couple days ago I concluded that there is one thing I should have done differently in my life that I let slide by, and that is calling my then gf, who shall be known as the One Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken, on cheating on me with my then apartment mate. See, back in the day, I had one of those gut feelings that something wasn't right. On top of that, one of my best female friends at the time who was roommates with the One Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken kept telling me to get out of the relationship, but she wouldn't tell me why. Actually, idk who's more at fault here, me for not manning up or her for not outright saying I was getting played? Anyway, one particular night I had to run out to go deliver our rent, this task takes maybe 10 mins, when I came back, I guess they didn't hear my car and I could see in the window that she was bent over him, and some what of a compromising position. But I just tried to alter my view and call it something else. Whatever, I was a naïve moron. I should have stepped up right there and called them both out, instead of waiting for her to eventually break down a month later and telling me everything, and me trying to be forgiving.

Had I manned up, I would have caught the shit in the act, and had all the control. I wouldn't have felt weak and manipulated because I would have been the one to take a stand. For some reason I felt like I needed to prove myself as the better man and win her heart again. When I moved back here and she stayed in VA, we did the long distance thing, when I could have been a free spirit so to speak in my early twenties. Also, the desire to act as a swinging bachelor would have caused me to move closer to the city sooner, which would have lead me to a different job, which in turn would have lead me to start my MBA sooner and probably be at a higher earnings bracket than I am now.

Even those events might not have happened, there is a good chance that single event would have altered the course of my life because I wouldn't have remained attached to something which pretty much caused me to put limitations on myself. Don't get me wrong, I'm in a good place, with a good job, a good education and good people around me, and potentially things could have turned out much worse. Maybe I would have moved to the city and became a coke head or something, who knows...but if I could change one instance, where I actually had the ability to make an impact, I think that would have been it.

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