Friday, May 16, 2008

I Got Problems With....

I’ve been meaning to post on these topics for awhile now, but I felt individually they were more like mini posts so I basically rolled three things I got problems with into one post because they all relate to driving. Let’s begin with people driving small cars. Now I’m all for driving an economic car that gets a high MPG ratio and is environmentally friendly. If I didn’t drive an SUV perhaps I’d consider a Prius, probably not…but regardless, these people in these small cars, Civics, Corollas, Spectras, Cobalts, whatever, they drive like they are behind the wheel of a stretch Hum-V. Passing a bus for these people requires them to be a good 12 feet away from the side of the bus, are you serious? If I leave more than 2 feet on the side I feel like I pussed out. Now I understand you may be a little afraid because if you do get into an accident with someone like me, my car will be fine while yours will turn into an accordion. But still, you don’t need to act like you have a big bodied Benz when you’re driving a piece crap. If you drive a small car, and it’s not for environmental or economical reasons, you’re better off on the bus or train.

Next, let’s talk about people who read while walking, and more specifically while crossing the street. Let me send out a big F U to those people. Look, I don’t care if you’re a pedestrian and you have the right of way, pay attention, look the fuck up and realize your slow ass is causing 6 cars to stay stuck at a busy intersection. The other day I shit you not, saw a woman stop on the sidewalk, look up and notice the signal said don’t walk, then proceeded to walk across the street with her head down in her book…if I could have gotten away with a hit and run at that moment I would have slammed the shit into her. Actually I wouldn’t have run, I would have gotten out of the car and yelled in her face, “That’s what you slow, pompous ass deserves!” I would have also done a dance of joy around her body as well…this is getting dark and disturbing, last case..

Bikes…not motorcycles, but bikes…they piss me the hell off...and here’s why…in many towns and cities there are bike lanes, they help keep the bikes out of the flow of car traffic and provides a buffer so that there is less of chance the cyclist gets hit. I’m all for that. What I hate are the bikers that decide the bike lane isn’t good enough for them and they need the entire street. Dude, you max out at 20 mph, I do that coming out of my driveway. Get the fuck out of my way. Here’s the bullshit part, these people think that bikes are motor vehicles too, so they think they have the same rights to the street as those of us that actually pay excise taxes, well why the hell do they get away with riding through red lights, or turning right on red when there is a sign clearly posted? Have you ever wanted to park on the side of the street and open your door just as a bike was coming so s/he would slam into it? Yeah I wouldn’t be happy with the damage to the interior of my car, but that would be such sweet satisfaction.

Damn, I need a massage or to do yoga or something...too much anger is inside me, it's like I'm turning to the Dark Side.

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