Friday, February 29, 2008

I Got Problems With...

I Got Problems With...is a new reoccurring post that will rival my Everything I Love posts (I don't love many things right now, hence the lack of those posts)...basically it's just going to be a short jab at something thing I have an issue with...

Typically I wouldn't care about how a guy dresses, but I have a serious issue with men that wear earmuffs...Are you serious? You're a grown man and you have fuzzy round things on the sides of your head? And chances are they are some color like electric blue..This doesn't even scream gay because no self respecting gay man with any sort of fashion sense would wear earmuffs. And I'm specifically talking about the round ones, not the flat, sleek ones that are somewhat acceptable. I still wouldn't wear them, but at least they seem sporty. Honestly, unless your a ski bunny or under the age of 8 they shouldn't even make an earmuff for you. WTF were you thinking dude?

iPod Friday...

Back to it this week after I was MIA last week due to car troubles...let's get it...





Thursday, February 28, 2008

Get Your Ass Checked Out Before It's Too Late Turkeys

So the other day I decided I should go in and get tested for VD. Since the Lady is about to move out and I’m going to be “out there” again I figured it was in my best interest to make sure nothing wrong was going on down there. As much as I hate being an adult, this was the right thing to do. So I go in for my appointment, the place is packed…I’m like Jeebus a lot of sex is going on these days. The most amazing part is all the girls waiting were hot, well not all, but at least 70% of them looked good. I guess the hot girls you see at bars and clubs aren’t as unattainable as I thought. That's a terrible assumption, but I'm a terrible person. Anywho…I fill out all my forms and I wait. I’m starting to get anxious because the last time I was tested they had to stick something which can only be described as a larger cotton swab into the hole at the top of my wang. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s the height of discomfort. Well, maybe not the height, I think needing to drop a deuce and not being able to get to a bathroom is probably worse, especially because you risk shitting your pants or a letting out some gas that can’t be covered up. So that feeling of discomfort is getting me nervous but the rest of the place is like a clubhouse. People are hanging with friends, chatting it up, some are even answering their cell phones. I’m sorry, that is the last place I’m picking up my phone. At that point I don’t have the focus to properly formulate a lie and remember the lie for a later convo. So my name gets called, and they ask me to pee in a cup…sure why not, I knock it out. Then I sit in the patient’s room. One person comes in, asks questions and she’s gone. Then the clinician comes in and asks what I want done. I tell her the basic shizz, no need to draw blood for the major shizz because I give blood regularly and I’m sure if there was a problem there the American Red Cross would have called me to tell me to stop donating. Also, I’ve had all my hepatitis vaccinations so I’m cool there too. Then they tell me the basic tests are done with urine now, no cotton swab in the wang! I’m thrilled! I would have done a dance if it had been appropriate. Anyway, the moral here is, getting your junk checked out ain’t so bad…

Friday, February 22, 2008

Girl Fights

You know what's dumb, girl fights. I experienced my first real girl fight tonight with a bunch of friends of mine. Here's basically what happened. Drunk girl pushed her way through my crew...drunk girl came back and pushed her way through my crew again...drunk girl and her drunk girlfriend spill a drink on the female members of my crew...yelling ensues....then drunk girls proceed to dance and purposely bump into the female members of my crew...yelling begins...bouncers show up...girls get separated...and that's basically the girl fight...

Next time, rip someone's top off or at least accidentally make out...please...

Also, if you haven't noticed, I'm going to start listening the cologne I'm wearing that day....idk why...but I like to smell good...

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Oooo..Ahhhh...Eeeee..Exercise...

So I've been slacking, so I apologize to my three readers...anywho...for the last 6+ months I've been trying to convince myself to join a gym, but I just can't do it. I hate commitment of almost any kind (I got chewed out on Saturday night because I didn't respond to an Evite) so the idea of pledging $70+ a month for something I may not use regularly bothers me. It's not that I'm lazy, but 1) I'm not a morning person, I can't get up at 5:30am to go to the gym before work. 2) I have classes until 10pm two nights a week, no way I'm going to the gym at 10:30pm. 3) I need structure in a venture such as the gym. If I don't go everyday at a certain time it just won't happen. It's like if I do something out of order in my morning preparation, if I don't use a q-tip at a certain time, then I'll forget to put on my watch, which will lead to me not wearing cologne, which will lead to forgetting my company badge, etc...Right now, I'm so disparate to start working out, I'm looking for a new apartment in complexes that already have fitness centers in them, so 1) the fee is built into my rent and 2) I'm forced to walk by it everyday, twice a day at a minimum.

Anyway the other night I was walking to class, and it was a fairly mild night for the middle of February. It was probably about 40 degrees, and there were an abnormal about of people running that night. I guess all these running groups are just getting started so people can be in shape for Spring/Summer. Basically it seems like something where you run in a pack of people so that you're motivated/guilted into staying active. I'm not sure if there is a specific skill level to each group or what, but there were at least four of these groups running that night plus an assortment of singles and duos running. So then it hit me, the one thing that could seriously motivate me to exercise and specifically run, the female ass. If I joined one of these groups and just ran behind a girl that has a nice saddle I would never stop following her. Not trying to be a perv here, but honestly, some people run to get in shape, others to it to release stress, some do it because they like the outdoors, I like nice derrières so why shouldn't that help me get in better shape and achieve good health? This is like during a weakness into a strength...hmmmm...I'm actually starting to buy into my own lunacy...

Friday, February 15, 2008

iPod Friday

Not traveling so I can actually post...side note: You know what just f's up my morning? After I get out of the shower, finish shaving and ready to leave the bathroom, I get a rumbling in my belly, the thrown is calling...so annoying cause after handling that business I completely lose the freshness just got from the shower...so I then have to hop back into the shower for a power wash to feel clean again...curse you unstable intestines...on to the music...










And as a bonus...this is the song I've been caught dancing to in my car to all week...I'm a sucker for old Def Jam beats...

Monday, February 11, 2008

San Fran Day 4 and a San Diego Weekend...

The last day in San Fran was pretty sweet. I didn’t leave my hotel room until 6:30pm, by choice…I just figured I had work to do, so I’d stay in my room, knock out some work, field phone calls and help out my reps with any last minute data before their meetings. Seriously, that was my Thursday, how uneventful…. But then it was about time for the awards dinner, so I threw on my suit, decided it was going to be a Sean John Unforgivable evening and headed out. The first part of the night was pretty normal. Ate a decent meal, applauded all the people that won trips to a tremendous location, and talked shop with those at my table. Then the night was opened up to the full blown drinking and dancing. Some how my reputation after one night had already preceded me and people tried to get me out on the floor asap. I was in control for about 45min when someone decides it’s time to do shots…sambuka is the devil…literally, my mind is a blank slate after that, with minor shots of color in between. For example, I don’t know how we ended back at the Starlight there was a receipt in pocket from there. I vaguely remember telling my boss I thought she was hot. Who knows if anything else was said, but I figured it couldn’t have been too bad, I woke up in the morning, in my own bed, with my boxers on. And amazingly I was able to pack my suitcase prior to passing out.

I popped up at around 7am and had to get my hustle on to catch a cab for the next leg of my trip to San Diego. After the 2 and a half hour delay, I leave for SD and an hour later I’m in the sun man, it’s like 72 degrees and phenomenal. Just another reason why I don't don't why I’m still in Boston, gloom for 8 months a year versus sun 11 months a year. Anyway, we drop off my things and head out to a bar on the beach. I start my evening with hefeweizen and a beautiful sunset. We hit another bar for awhile, and then it’s off to this place called Johnny Devine’s for dancing…good times had there until 2am, when it’s impossible to catch a cab in San Diego. We end up walking around, running into some guy that claimed he played for the Chargers and then getting burritos. Finally a cab is available and it’s time to go back home. Then we start up Saturday for an international rugby tournament. I have never seen so many fun and crazy people. Especially the dudes from New Zealand and Kenya, they spoke to every cute girl, and jumped into every picture taken that day. After hours in the sun at Petco Park, we continued the night at this joint called Maloney’s in downtown. After about 4 hours there, we all decided it was time to get back to the coast. We got home, I passed out and woke up around 6:45am to catch my flight back to Boston.

The Lady picked me up, and was obviously displeased with me that I went to San Diego to hang out with a female friend. What she doesn’t get is that nothing has or will ever happen with this friend, and we spent basically every waking and sleeping minute with someone else around us too. But what can I do, I was able to take advantage of a free trip to San Fran and extend it out to see a good friend, who wouldn’t do that? I'm wearing about 4 hats with the Lady now, ex-bf, bf, friend, roommate, it's all f'ed up, and it's like every time I choose a hat to wear it's the wrong one. Sorta like our relationship in the first place. Anyway, I’m still tired on west coast time, but I’ll be back in the swing of things sooner than later…

Thursday, February 7, 2008

San Fran Days 2 & 3

So the last couple of days in San Fran have been good. Tuesday I had meetings the first half of the day. Just pretty much taking part in the whole rah rah of what sales people get into. The second half of the day, instead of going to break out meetings about stuff that has little to no bearing on my job, I came back up to my room and labored for hours trying to link up to our shared drive through the hotel's internet. It took my 3 hours to find the information I needed. Anyway, I had dinner with one of the regions that night and while the food was just okay, it was nice getting to know a lot of the reps. Good folks all around. After which, I met up with another region at another bar for a drink, which lead to joining up with yet another region and some home office people at this place called the Starlight Lounge, which sounds like a strip club imo. Anyway, I get there, get handed a drink and chat it up with some peeps while a decent 70's funk cover band plays...then it goes a little nuts...the band takes a break and hip hop comes on. Mass exodus to the dance floor. Now, I'm not one of pointing out the demographics of people, but let's say this, I'm almost 30, and I was either the youngest or second youngest person there. Also, I was the only minority there, and I don't mean only black person, I mean the only minority, no Latinos, no Asians, nada...which is fine, I'm used to that situation, especially in business. Anyway, I get pulled out there and I'm blown away. Idk what it is about 35+ white folks and being away from home, but these folks get loose. Peeps getting freaky in the club, literally flopping all over the place, grabbing things on other people...now it's the actions that were shocking, I see this all the time, but it's the fact that it was with coworkers out in the open that blows me away. So I got sick of this lack of coordination and broke out a few moves, and then stepped back, just to show these peeps what it's really all about. Mistake. After that, every chick in my company that was there was attempting to get me to dance with her...now we have some hot reps, but I my plan was to stay in control. I'm not going to be the subject of water cooler chatter the next day...so at 12:30 I had enough and stepped back to the hotel. Fun night, but sales peoples are wild...

Yesterday I started off the day with Eggs Benedict for room service, not the best I've had, but good nonetheless and headed down for our new CRM training session. That was 4 hours of my life wasted. Nothing else to say about that. Busted back to my room, did some quick work and headed out to Grand Prix racing. That shit is fun. These little carts reach speeds of 40-50mph and you're just flying around the track. It was all good time until this "track general" waved a yellow flag in front of me. According to the instructional video was saw prior to driving, yellow means slow down. Which I did, but the guy just stands in my way. Which lead me to driving over his foot. He yells and says "USE YOUR BRAKE!" Which I reply, "I'm not trying to fuck with you dude, what are you trying to tell me?!?!" See, a red flag is the universal flag for stop, not yellow. So why on Earth would I come to a complete stop without the red flag being out. So he decided to just put the flag over my face so I couldn't see. Thanks jackass...because you're color blind and can't tell yellow from red I look like a buffoon. Whatever, no worries...after the race we came back, I was sore from head to toe, that shit is a serious work out. I was totally dehydrated and my arms were jelly. So the rest of the day I chilled in the room. I fell asleep and work up to my phone vibrating. It's E Moneybags saying he's in my hotel and we're having dinner 45 mins early, which meant we were having dinner in 15 mins...I hopped up threw on some jeans which I love about San Fran, no place is too good not to allow jeans, and go down to the lobby. I see E Moneybags and L Boogie and yell out "FAMILY" inside a crowded lobby...but I was really happy to see them.

Dinner was great we caught up on our lives, the lives of friends, cracked jokes, ate a great meal at Scala's Bistro, which I highly recommend. Then they chilled up in my room for a few before taking back off to Fremont. Checked my phone after they left and office wife so to speak, I'll explain the office wife/husband in a future post, had texted me she was going to bed, and I didn't feel like going out either, so I called it a night...good times thus far in San Fran...tonight is the big award dinner though, i fear for my life...

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

San Fran: Day One

So I'm on the West Coast this week for a business meeting and then visiting a friend. I wish I had more to say other than I'm really, really tired, considering it's just about 10pm here, which makes it nearly 1am EST. Not much to say about the city yet, I got into the airport around 3pm PST, came to the hotel, checked in and tried to do some work, then had a reception to go to, which involved drinking on an empty stomach. What I learned tonight, we have a ton of hot sales reps I need to get to know before Thursday night...also, I think a lot of people are gonna get rip shit this week...

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Taking My Hat Off...

Congrats to the New York Giants, their fans and all those that picked them to win tonight. Plain and simple, they were the best team on the field tonight. They didn't play the perfect game I thought they'd need to win, but they played the right game to win. They controlled the time of possession, converted on 3rd down, pressured the hell out of the Pats offensive line and Brady, and recovered all the loose balls. They played a great game....as for me, a fan of the Patriots...I'm deflated...I'm disappointed...regardless of the 18 wins during the season, the 1 loss will haunt me until next February...

Just Making It Official...


Patriots 34, Giants 20...MVP: Tommy Brady, Long shot MVP: Kevin Faulk, 1st TD scored by the Pats: Wes Welker, Pats D picks off Eli 3 times...this is all for shits and giggles...

Side note: Watching the FOX pregame show...Sara Evans got body man...

Saturday, February 2, 2008

"I Should Hook You Up With..."

So now that I'm single so to speak, it's crazy the amount of attention I'm getting from people that have "the perfect girl" for me. Every time I tell someone, "Yeah, we broke up, the Lady is going to be moving out next month." I immediately hear things like, "You should meet my friend blah blah blah." Or, "We need to get the word out that you're on the market." That one actually happened at work, which really threw me off because I pretty much keep to myself on the job, due to the nature of what I do. But regardless, I'm like wtf? Firstly, I'm still living with the Lady, why on Earth would anyone want to set me up with a new girl when I can't even invite her over? Secondly, am I even capable of being in a relationship right now? The last thing I want to do after getting out of a relationship is have to "check in" with someone all the time. Thirdly, why is this happening now? Years ago, people would not be throwing poon in my face like this. I'm convinced age, money and success has a lot to do with it. Which is kinda f'ed up. I mean obviously dating an out of work, penniless, jerk with no drive or self-esteem isn't what anyone wants, but I'm the same guy I was 5 years ago for the most part. The only difference is now I make more money and have more education. I'm still a 5 year old at heart, just with more aches and pains.

The thing I'll be really pissed off about is when I'm ready to be out there is that the well will have gone dry. That hot chick my buddy's lady works with, she'll be smitten with someone else. Those cool girls I met through my female friends will have either moved away, gotten back with their ex's or are just plain crazy. Or somehow, I'll come off looking like an ass in my former relationship and then I'll be considered a jerk...it's lose-lose my friends...

Friday, February 1, 2008

iPod Friday....All Over the Place

The iPod went nuts this morning, no idea how these all got played this morning, but I'm a big fan...