Friday, January 4, 2008

That's Gotta Sting...

I was just chatting with my boy EB a he decided to mention that he was IMing on his laptop while in the can. He thought I'd be jealous, but I actually go to the can to get away from my computer. Which basically lead me to get up from my desk and head to the bathroom for a good sit. Now when I say a good sit, it doesn’t mean I'm using the bathroom, I often go in there just to pass some time while I'm bored. Some may say, "Why the bathroom?" "Go outside, eat lunch, do something else!" Well, I happen to like the bathroom. I'm too lazy to take the elevator 8 floors down just to go outside (and it's like 14 degrees today), I rarely eat lunch and quite frankly, the bathroom is usually quiet and peaceful. Although I do miss my old company's bathroom, there were 5 stalls on each floor! My current employer only has three. Of course there is the potential of the smell as well. But an experienced sitter knows the prime times to avoid the bathroom due to people who truly have filthy business to handle. After lunch and before the end of the day are usually those hot spots when people need to unload. Before lunch is usually quality time because people just go in there to release water. It can be high traffic, but not stinky. But anyway, bottom line, if you can get a good 15 mins to yourself in the john it's almost like taking a power nap.


Where is this all leading, well the other day I was having a sit and I nearly sat on one of my testicles. Luckily I was sitting down slowly so when I felt the cold seat hit my nut I knew to stand back up. You may wonder how this could happen. When using a public toilet, I think most men would want to avoid wang to bowl/rim contact, so we need to do a little tuck while sitting to steer clear of it. During the tuck, we may tuck a little too far to the right or left instead of pushing it straight back, when that happens, the chance for nut squashing is there. It's like a self imposed kick in the groin, and if you really need to use the bathroom the combo of nut pain and prairie doggin' might be one of the worst feelings ever, because if you're about to let loose and you all of a sudden need to pop back up cause you sat on your testicle then you need to re-clinch a relaxed rectum. Anyway, no real point to the post, just random foolishness...

No comments: