Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I Got My Armor On...

So its times like this I’m really glad I started blogging again. Some things in life you just can’t talk to friends about and it’s just much easier to put it out there to a bunch of unknowns, which allows any sort of burden to be lifted off of me, at least temporarily. So the lady and I are having some serious troubles, it seems like the situation from the last weekend has really caused a lot of pain. So much in fact that the lady said either she was going to move out or I should. Now we’ve been in fights before, but nothing to this level. All the fights pretty much stem back to the independent DCD needing to live and not always having to be relationship DCD. Well, that’s her issue, I have certain issues about our relationship that I choose not to disclose because even though I would not be directly calling her out, it would simply be rude and I have too much respect for her to do anything of that nature. Anyway, so this is like DEFCON-1, she has all her weapons drawn, and it’s just a matter of time before launch. Actually the threat of moving out probably was the first attack. So, the problem really lies I guess with me…the whole separate worlds started while I was in college. My gf then would hang out with our friends at night, and I would go to my fraternity house and hang out with my brothers/throw parties, and then return home to reunite with her. This has pretty much been the routine with every relationship I’ve had since then, just change the players. And as a side note, I have always encouraged my significant other to have separate worlds as well. Another thing, I’m not a fan of doing the couples thing. I don’t like the idea of going out with other couples, it’s so contrived and I get the feeling people do this because they have feel like it’s the socially acceptable thing to do. Why do I need to put myself in this situation just so I can “act like a couple?” Why should I make small talk with people I either don’t like, or have no desire to get to know in the first place? Yes, that might sound elitist, but it’s not. I genuinely enjoying meeting new people and increasing my social circle, but I don’t like being forced into a situation for any particular reason. Once that square peg starts getting pushed through the round hole, then I’m done with it, and will make it known that I want nothing to do with the situation or the individuals in it. This is me, it’s who I am…and although I am pretty rational, and will listen to any compelling argument on any topic, and I may even agree that in theory it makes sense that the discussion at hand might work for other people, fundamentally it’s just not my bag. Some people might say I’m dating the wrong woman, but like I said before, this is my pattern, and I just don’t think it will or even can change. Subsequently, because of the way I are (yes that was purposeful), are all my relationships doomed to fail? Or can a true compromise take place?

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