Thursday, September 27, 2007

I Now Pronounce You F'd...

So yesterday I was talking on the phone when the person on the other end tells me about some family friends that are getting divorced. Now, this story seemed to be too ridiculous just for a phone conversation, so I don't know all the details yet, but from what I was told, there is a restraining order out on the husband, the wife had to get a dog for protection, the husband has frozen all their assets(which are very sizable) and at least one of the kids isn't speaking to his father. Why do I write about this? Because it totally backs up my belief that marriage is an antiquated tradition that is pretty much unnecessary and can lead to more harm than good.

Now, let me first state that I'm not saying I don't think people should stop getting married, or that there are not good, working, functional, loving marriages out there. I've been involved in a few weddings where I truly believe what these people have is real. But, for the majority of the nation, I'll keep in local and not global, marriage is a joke. The divorce rate is ridiculous, something between 33-50%, that alone scares me, 'cause I'm a gambler, and I play to win, and I don't like odds that in my life that only give me a 67% chance at best. I seriously don't think people know what love is, because it's simply something you can't people have this belief that they are in love and life is perfect, which it might be at that time. Then the two people run off, get married, celebrate, take lots of pictures...and then a few years later, and in some cases months, something weird happens...the person you fell in love with isn't that same person anymore. The two people become more irritated with each other more easily. Sometimes money is the issue and love can't get some people through tough times. The boredom of the bedroom can cause infidelity, which is kinda messed up imo too because as animals, biologically, it's wired in our brains to mate with as many people as possible to spread our genes, not that people have sex for that reason, but that element along with a boring, monotonous sex life leads people to stray.

But the biggest problem with marriage is that when the final straw has been broken, you have to hire people to get out of it. That is where the most fatal flaw of this institution lays imo. There is nothing I want in my personal life, business is a different story, where if things aren't working out I have to obtain a lawyer to settle my own assets. What happened to take with what you came with? And I understand, assets grow with time, and people contribute to the growth in different ways, but just put a percentage on what a person was contributing and move on. Now of course it's not as easy as that, but that again is part of the point, if you don't get married you never have to deal with that element. Then you throw kids in the mix...when people have children out of wedlock there are still legal implications of child support, visitation rights and such, but the kids don't become pawns as many do become in messy divorces. That's not fair to the children at all, but the hate and greed that some marriage develop into make people forget about something more important than their own self-interest.

I think a lot of people convince themselves they need to be married because it's the right thing to do(societal norms), or because everyone around them is married or because they don't want to get old alone...that's all the root of the problem. You can live a perfectly normal life just having someone you care about being with you, someone you love, but not necessarily having a document formally state your man and wife, or man and man or woman and woman, here at Scotch on the Rocks we're very supportive of that lifestyle decision. Once the law becomes involved too many things leave the individual's hands, and I'm not sure this guy really wants to chance that loss of power.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

For the Love of My Teams

So today I'm going to discuss one of my passions, most men, I love, football, college basketball top my list, with the NBA, golf, women's tennis, beach volleyball and college football(strictly for gambling purposes) come in on the second tier. Anyway, over the last three weeks in particular, my favorite teams have come under fire like crazy...see, I'm from Boston, so I love my Patriots and Red Sox...but it seems like every other day I read something about how much other people hate those teams and even more so, their, I'm a Boston fan, and I do hate Boston fans for the most part as well. Let me clarify, typical Boston fans are morons, they are loud, drunk, quick to criticize and believe they know everything there is about the game. One of my first eye opening moments was while I was attending a Sox game a few years back and a guy deemed the Excited Southerner tried to explain to his date that Pedro Martinez would not be able to throw inside if he played on an NL team, but because of the DH in the AL, he was able to. Now, although this guy may not have been a Bostonian, he had a southern accent hence the name, he's still a good example of how many moron fans in Boston think. One other thing, the best way to classify a Boston moron from a decent Boston fan is when and where s/he gets involved in a Yankees Suck chant. Now, I cannot deny I have yelled this in the heat of the moment in my younger years, but over the course of time, I just think it's stupid. The Yanks don't suck and although we have a rivalry with them, I have quite a lot of respect for those guys, not that they need my respect. Mo Rivera, Posada, Pettitte, Jeter, Matsui and Cano, guys I think are great players and are probably decent guys off the field as well. The only guy I really don't like is A-Rod and that stems from his slapping of the baseball away from Bronson Arroyo's glove, but as a pure baseball player, the guy is a god. Anywho, back to the chant, your typical Boston moron will yell Yankees Suck at any time and any place...I have been to several Boston Celtics games where people start yelling Yankees Suck, I mean come's the off season, what's the point, because someone was wearing a Yankees hat in the Garden...morons. Same at Gillette Stadium, guess what, no one can hear you yell this you feel good about yourself, does this enable you with some mystical power? Idk, and frankly I don't want to know. Yelling Yankees Suck at the Jets bench really doesn't do anything to the players, maybe it confuses them for a second because of the idiocy of the idea that jeering a baseball team would put a football team in a bad mood. But I digress...

The Red Sox and the Patriots are phenomenal teams, period. People complain about Sox fans being bandwagoners. I would say that's false, see Boston is a college town. People move here from all areas for 4 years or longer, usually with little allegiance to a particular team, and then often leave for a warmer year long climate, but by then they become assimilated into the fandom. They develop the love for the team through others that have been with the Sox for life. Once those new fans get a taste, for whatever reason, it stays with them, and RSN literally spans the nation.

As for "panic" mode...yeah I a lot of fans have become worried about losing the division to the Yankees and are all freaked out. BFD, the goal is the playoffs, where anything can happen, winning the division does not ensure playoff success...the Sox were the first team to clinch a playoff berth and people still get all goofy about the standings. Relax, the Yankees had an amazing second half, which was expected with that line up. And the Sox are still a .600 club for the year, which is pretty good imo.

Those are just a few things that bother me about Sox fans because it makes normal Sox fans look like buffoons because we're automatically grouped in with these people, it also brings down the basic element that the team is good and that judgment upon them should not be supported on the actions of the fan base...which brings me to the Pats...why do people hate this team so much? Because it has allegedly destroyed the thing people love about the NFL, parity? There have been dynasties in the NFL for the last 30-40's what happens in every major sport, but why the hate of the Patriots? I don't remember the country hating the Niners? And it seemed like a lot of people embraced the Cowboys in the early 90's. The Broncos during their winning years didn't seem to have a league of hate after them. So why the lack of love for the Pats? The team goes out there every week with a play to win attitude, they do their talking on the field. You never hear garbage like "the better team doesn't always win" after a loss. The Pats don't make guarantees about winning games or scoring TDs, they just do it. And as for SpyGate, big freakin' whoop-dee-doo! This was the dumbest scandal in sports history. Honestly, as discussed with a good friend of mine, the whole Rodney Harrison HGH suspension should have caught more attention than stealing signals. God, this is a game that is played once a week and teams don't change their signals? I mean, come one, baseball teams change signals in the middle of an inning, and football teams can't make this adjustment 16 times over the course of a season...ridiculous. And knowing this, organizations would be foolish not to take advantage of this knowledge, and I still believe other teams have done it, but not with the arrogance of Belichick, which definitely got the best of him.

I also think fans are simply jealous of Tom Brady. Who wants to see a guy who's got it all succeed any further? The American way is to shun and ridicule those that achieve great things simply because the on-looker did not. Are you mad you didn't knock up Bridget Moynahan or can't get a date with Giselle? Guess what, you weren't going to do either regardless of Brady's success...Brady could still be behind Bledsoe and you're still sitting there without a Victoria's Secret super model. Maybe fans are upset because players want to come and play in New England and not for your team? Well it wasn't always like that, and luckily we got bought by an owner that actually cared about his team and his fanbase...don't get mad at the Pats for having an outstanding organization head to toe, get angry at your organization for failing to emulate the process and then improving on it.

So anyway, this post is getting too long as it is, the bottom line is, if you hate the Pats or Sox that's fine, but just have a better reason other than their fans or that they are simply too good...I have no problems with you rooting against them, just do it for the spirit of competition and not because you think Curt Schilling is an asshole...

Saturday, September 22, 2007

The Beginning of the Happy Ass

So I was watching Friends the other day, and I was admiring the hotness that was and still is Jennifer Aniston, and I started thinking to Jennifer Aniston the cause of what a good looking ass is these days? I mean, before Aniston, I really can't think of a really hot chick that was admired for having a perky, round ass. If you look at all the SI swimsuit issues in the 80's and early 90's, the chicks were fine, but were all face and breasts, not that I have a problem with either, but they all had pancake asses. The standard of a great ass has definitely changed in the last 15 years or so, women like Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba would not be appreciated for their lower halves like they are now without the change in to what I call the "Happy Ass." Happy Ass is very easy to figure out, pretty much anything that is the equivalent of Kirsten Dunst or worse is an unhappy ass...Britney Spears back in the day, very Happy Ass, Britney now, unhappy ass. Jen from Big Brother 8, very Happy Ass, Amber from Big Brother 8, very unhappy ass...Katherine McPhee...another Happy Ass, the Olsen Twins...two of the riches unhappy asses ever...Brooke Adams, my new fav Happy Ass, Paris Hilton....ass so unhappy it makes me cry...Nelly Furtado, Happy Ass....well I could go on and on...but I'm sure you see where I'm going....anyway, back to the point, is Jennifer Aniston the reason why women these days have such phenomenal peaches, or did someone else come first?

Thursday, September 20, 2007


So after spraining my ankle, I became a little depressed...I guess sitting on a coach for two days with not much contact with other people can do that, and that caused me to start playing a game with myself that I often do when something bad or strange happens to me. I start to ask myself what did I do wrong for God to punish me like this? I know this sounds crazy, but I have this strange dichotomy about me. I actually compare it to Kanye West in a way, I mention him because he often talks about struggles like this on records. But anyway, I have this side where I can be reckless, wild, a sorta F you if you don't like me, glamorous lifestyle. One where partying and nice material possessions fill by being, I'm not making it rain by any means, but I'm definitely going all out at those times. Strangely enough, the purpose of all of this is to make everyone else around me "have a good time" so to speak. I floss to make others feel good, strange, but it is what it is. Then I have a side where not only to I question the validity of my choices, but then come to believe there is more meaning to elements of my life than meets the eye. I actually have a friend whom I will call Ezel who went through this in college and still at times goes through it, but has chosen to become fully embraced by Christianity. For him, that was the direction he needed to go. I, regardless of my personal religious affiliation, try to simply live by the rule of being a good person and I'll get to the pearly gates when it's my time. I don't say prayers but I pray. I don't like going to church and rarely do go, but when I do go I feel blessed and whole. I don't define people by their religion, but by their actions. And that's why I start playing this game with myself. By giving me a sprained ankle is God telling me not to drink as much or to stop drinking all together? Is he punishing me for potentially unpure thoughts in my head? Is he trying to warn me of the reckless lifestyle that I lead sometimes? I begin wondering if the fun I have isn't the fun that is in the plan for me. But then again, what if I'm just f'ing with my own head? I mean, although we say God is everywhere and all knowing/all seeing, why on Earth (which is actually kind of funny to say when mentioning God) would he ever focus on an individual like myself to send a message to? Aren't there bigger fish to fry like getting terrorists or criminals to see the error of their ways, or are they simply unreachable? Perhaps the issue here is not changing myself, but simply reminding myself that I believe in something that guides me, and that I just need to pay more attention to what's in front of me and not close my eyes to tough decisions, but know that there is a purpose to my actions regardless of how great or small.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Not Smart

One way or another I remind myself at least on a monthly basis how much of a screw up I can be. Well, this month's reminder came on Sunday night...I was at Gillette Stadium, one of the greatest places on Earth if you're a football fan, and the game was in hand. So, I decide, why not take this opportunity to beat the crowd and walk back to the parking lot to partake in some post game celebrations, consisting of beer, lobster and burgers. Well, because of the nature of the game, Sunday night, home opener, and PatriotGate, my normal parking lot was full, causing me to cross Rt 1 to the other parking lots, which lead to me getting lost, roaming various parking lots for close to 75-90mins, I really have no idea how long I was out there. So I eventually have to pee, and decide to go in the woods, as I'm coming out of the woods, I step on a loose rock and BOOM down I go. Even in my haze, pain consumed my foot and ankle. I tried to stand up and I couldn't put any weight on it at all. So I fell back down and laid in the dirt for at least 20mins, the entire time I'm trying to call my crew, and when I told them I couldn't walk, they thought I was joking...AWESOME.

So eventually I crawl out of the woods and hobble to a nearby stone. I'm sitting there for about 10mins when the local police show up and ask me if I'm alright. Wanting as little contact with them as possible, I just tell them I'm waiting for my ride...from which they respond "Does your ride know where you are?" And at this point, my ride didn't. But whatever, the cops take off and I move to a more lit area closer to the highway. Eventually my phone rings and it's my ride, who had been asleep in the car for the last hour or so, and asks where I am. So 3-5mins later, the car rolls up, I hop in and we're off.

So luckily I had taken Monday off to recover from the activities of the game, which allowed me to make a visit to the doctor and get x-rays on my ankle. Thankfully, there is no damage, and it's just a severe sprain, but I still have to where an aircast, which is just a ankle brace, to stabilize it. The lesson here, well...I guess it's either don't get lost or don't pee in the woods...i have a feeling I will learn from neither...

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Why I hate baby pictures...and more...

So I was just looking through my RSS reader and I came across an update for a blog I frequent. The subject of the blog was the birth of a new baby in her family with a pic of the kid...seriously, wtf? I don't get people who do this. What enjoyment do people really get out of looking at baby pictures? I cannot tell you how much it pains me to sit on a couch and be forced to look through 100 pictures of a kid learning how to walk, or eating Cheerios or some crap like that...and I'd say there are always in sets of 5 which are basically the same damn picture but the kid slightly moved his or her hand or has a half assed smile on their face. Now, before going on, I'll whole hearted admit that I can be, and often times am a jerk, so if this rant seems unnecessary, whatever, it's who I am. But I gotta get this out...So your question might be, "Why do I care about this in the first place?" Well, I'm so angry about this because in my opinion, just showing off pictures of kids or bringing them to work is the ultimate form of arrogance. Why do people assume we want to see their kids, or worse listen to their kids cry or run around like buffoons at work? If I ask to see pictures, then gladly whip them out and I will sit there and make small talk. But don't ask me if I want to see them, because the honest to god answer will be no. And I will tell you no flat out. Don't look at this as an insult, I'm just telling it like it is, I have no interest in looking at the fruit of your loins, pretending it's cute or commenting about how much hair it has. And here is where the arrogance comes into play, when I do say no, I get a look of disgust, like "Why don't you want to see my kid?" The question is "Why would I want to see the kid in the first place?" Parents and family members assume the child is some amazing gift to the world that all should relish. It's like dude, a kid is born like every 13 seconds, yours really isn’t anything special, and if it is, we won't know that for about 25 years. I'm not saying people shouldn't be happy they had a kid, but the belief that everyone else should be just as thrilled is a ridiculous notion.

And don't get me wrong, I love pictures. I can sit through albums and albums of pictures involving people actually doing something, but the pictures of babies thrust in my face just don't fly. I have this same objection to vacation pictures. Unless I specifically ask to see them, don't just sit down next to me and tell me stories about a place I seriously couldn't care about. I don't care about how beautiful the skyline was. I don't care about how good the food was. I'm not going to eat it anytime soon, so it's just wasted information. Now, two of my friends recently got back from their honeymoon to Tahiti, and I told them I really wanted to see the pix, because 1) I'll probably never get married and go on a honeymoon, 2) If I did get married, there is no way I'm dropping that much cash just to have sex for a week or two. So I saw the pix and was really happy to see them because the islands are beauty beyond belief, but if you go to Bar Harbor, Maine, do I really have an interest in seeing those, not at all. Do I want to see you walking a trail in the woods and standing by a stream, I'll pass. People get upset because I didn't want to see them in a log cabin built in 1864. Seriously people, think about what you're doing before you do it...your kid and your vacation just isn't all that. Whatever, it is what it is...

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Intrigue of Blogging

So why do we read blogs? I mean seriously, who cares about what I have to say or what hundreds of thousands of other people have on their mind? Well, I've come to the conclusion that it's one of two things: 1) We're hoping to find someone that is more shit out of luck that we are so we can feel better about ourselves. Which I think is pretty legit. There is nothing like reading about someone f'ing up, not getting hurt or having anything severe happen to him or her of course, but there is enjoyment to finding out other people mess up too, usually worse than the reader. 2) We're simply sick of our own lives and need something to latch on to that's different from our day to day routine. I don't about you, but I spend the majority of my days in a cube looking at spreadsheets, and then a few times a week, I go to a class room where I get to get to sit for another 3 hours in almost total silence as I listen to a lecture. I'm sure at least 50% of people out there are doing something a lot more interesting than that at any given moment. The ability to see the world through the eyes of a gambler, a financial whiz, a hot chick from Jersey or just Joe Average who's not as average as he may think is an invigorating thing.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Rebirth into the World of Blogging

So I've been tooling around with the idea of starting a new blog...yes I say new because at one point a few friends and I wrote a blog pretty much based around the 2004 presidential may say, how entertaining, your readership must have been huge...well, we did have readers, and it was quite a fun blog, but even for a blog based on politics it became too political for me. No matter how non judgmental we tried to keep the blog, politics just always seems personal. So I stopped posting, stopped replying and eventually the other contributors let the blog die. So now we're in the circle of life, from what dies begets life or something to that effect. Do I really have anything important to say, no not I funny, at I go through real shit, most definitely. Do I need an outlet, now I can bitch, moan, celebrate, whatever and if people want to listen that's great...if not, who cares, the monkey is off my back...

So being inspired by some of my fav bloggers, simply because they are basic ramblings and stories about what is going on with those people lately, I have decided to begin posting under the title Scotch on the Rocks, which I'm sure several other people have used as a title before and are using now. Originally, the title was going to be the Harlem Stomp, which will get explained at a later date. But the main reason it wouldn't work is because I'm not from Harlem or any part of New York for that matter. Anyway, the scotch thing simply works better because I like scotch, heck I thoroughly enjoy scotch and people that drink scotch have a different personality about them. One way or another scotch is involved in all my social activities, any event I'm at, before the night is over, you'll see me with a glass of scotch. Plus I like the "Rocks" part of the title...sorta like life, always on the rocks...perhaps that was cheesy, so be it, it is what it is...and so begins this challenge of writing something of value every other day...